What We Practice, We Get Good At
As I sit here staring at the blank page before me struggling to write this month, the lyrics from the chorus of a favorite song of mine, Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, come to mind:
Though there is a lot of significance to this song for me, my second thought was it really has nothing to do with what I’m trying to write. Then I began to read & analyze each line as its own, and found that, yeah, it does resonate. It just goes to show that sometimes my thought processes are all over the map, even with daily meditation. Does this ever happen to you?
I have struggled this month, not so much in finding the words to write, as to make some semblance of sense out of them in order to convey a meaningful message. I am, after all, the expert of my own life.
I’ve spent the better part of the past month in the throes of an old and familiar habit. I don’t really like this habit, nor does it serve my higher self; however, this habit has been such a significant part of my life on and off for so many years that sometimes it is my default “go-to”.
And hey, let’s face, we all get good at what we practice!
At first, I find I am more comfortable with this familiar habit than staying in the moment and living my life, but only for a time. These times start off with me telling myself that I just need some “me time” until the “me time” has turned into a week and then two and then sometimes even longer. The more time I remain here, the more skewed vision of world I begin to have until emotions like anger start showing up over the tiniest things. And then the anger starts to take over my life. Usually that is when spirit shows up in one form or another and I finally realize what I’ve been doing.
What I’m talking about here is unhealthy isolation.
Isolation can be a wonderful thing, if done in a healthy way, for all the right reasons, for our personal selves. And I practice plenty of healthy isolation; however, sometimes what starts off as what I tell myself is healthy, turns out to be full blown avoidance – almost always triggered by taking on the energy of the people around me. Sometimes I realize it and sometimes I don’t. It depends on how close I am to that person or situation. Other times it just happens when I experience what I perceive as stress, sadness or uncomfortable situations.
As an empath, I feel the energy surrounding me, all the time. I can walk into a room full of people and feel the “vibe”, or vibration of the atmosphere. Large venues give me sensory overload and drain me of precious energy for days. Things my closest friends and family experience can be felt in my own body even over distance. And it makes so much sense that those I share DNA with are felt the deepest.
When I was a child, I was teased, tormented and ridiculed for being so sensitive and empathetic of others and at an early age I learned to swallow my feelings, as to not have attention drawn to myself. As I grew older, I would push them down even further with unhealthy foods, finding solace and unconditional love in a bag full of cookies or a container of ice cream, something that, though I am mindful of what I put in my body, I still struggle with to this day.
Through the practice of meditation, discerning the energy that is mine and that which is not mine has helped a lot of what I used to believe were my own emotional ups and downs. In all reality, I was experiencing the pain of others. In order to maintain a healthy balance of energy in my life I must spend a fair amount of time in nature in order to regain my natural vibrations.
Nature has so much healing to offer if we just pay attention to Her.
The natural vibrations of the earth, trees, water, birds, flowers, essentially all things connected to the earth brings me peace and calm, which keeps me grounded.
Another essential key in keeping my energy in balance is pranayama, especially the type of breathwork specifically designed to release certain energies from one’s body. My last experience with unhealthy isolation was only uncovered through a private session of breathwork and the release of stuck energy I was carrying around for someone I am very close to and care for deeply.
Are you practicing a healthy balance of social life, work, rest and play or do you find you are cutting yourself off from people or situations in a not so healthy way? If you are practicing unhealthy isolation, ask yourself, “What can I do today to change that?”
Whenever we find ourselves not living in our authentic truth, or not serving our higher purpose we get reminders or hints, not so much through our mind, but in our body thought our gut-intuition and our heart-self love. Sometimes they are so subtle, and if we aren’t paying attention we miss them. And if we stop paying attention long enough, we have to literally get “hit by a boulder” in order to realize that something in our life is off kilter. Making tiny changes a little at a time has helped me transform my unhealthy habits into healthier ones which serve to strengthen my whole mind, body, soul connection. I believe I am worth it, are you?