Paying Attention
I recently started working my way through Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. As part of this work, I spend about 30 minutes every morning writing my stream of conscious long hand across three pages. I’m also invited to take myself on an Artist Date each week. Additionally, there are several other prompts that I respond to in my journal. I’ve enjoyed this new way of engaging my creative side and I appreciate that it helps me mark my accomplishments each week. I may not know what day of the week it is, but I do know I’m on week two of the book and I’ve written over a week’s worth of Morning Pages!
A new way to mark the passage of time.
A few years ago I discovered and named my purpose: I pay attention to the ordinary and discover the extraordinary. This discovery and naming was a relief because my purpose is not tied to a specific job or a certain person, it’s all about my stance in the world. No matter where I am or who I am with, I can pay attention to the ordinary and discovery the extraordinary. Naming this was such a gift.
So, I was pleased on Sunday night as I read the next chapter in The Artist’s Way and found that paying attention is an important part of creativity! Cameron writes, “The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention” (53). I find delight in the smallest noticings… the way the house sparrow struggles to pull a branch into the nest he’s making in our gutter; the way ants crawl up the shepherds hook to reach the hummingbird feeder; the way chipmunks dart to and fro across the driveway; the way seedlings appear day after day, seemingly out of nowhere; the way our dogs sniff the wind with their long noses. Such delight all around — and this is just in my own backyard!
But the delight goes far beyond those small details. I delight in searching for planets in the sky and wondering about the far distances of the Universe. I delight in knowing that the light from a star may not exist anymore and the distance to the next galaxy is more than my mind can comprehend. I delight in the hugeness of trees and the vastness of forests. I delight in knowing my life is a blip and yet it feels so much more than that.
In paying attention to my life, delight abounds.
Although I’ve had the tendency to pay attention for most of my life, it’s not been until the last two decades or so that I’ve really paid attention. And what has happened in my life over the last two decades? Divorce (my own and my parent’s), the death of a dear friend, the death of my grandparents, break ups, friendships ending, infertility, job changes… In my pain I started to pay closer attention because being present, being in the moment, was all I could count on. Cameron notes this for her own life too: “Writing about attention, I see that I have written a good deal about pain. This is no coincidence. It may be different for others, but pain is what it took to teach me to pay attention” (54).
Paying attention reminds me to take a deep breath. Paying attention reminds me to slow down. Paying attention keeps my body grounded.
Right now I pay attention a lot because the dwelling in the past isn’t helpful and neither is focusing on the future. So, I pay attention to the current moment where my feet are cold even though I have socks on and the light in my room is brighter than the light outside. I pause when a bird lands on the Rose of Sharon outside my window and I pay attention to the small movements it makes. I notice that my peppermint tea is moving through my body and I’ll need to take a break soon!
Getting to the place where I could say I was living a good, full life required a lot of paying attention — to my experiences, to my feelings, to my responses. I don’t always pay attention, of course. Sometimes I forget it’s even an option. I throw myself into the future with worry and anxiety. I flail myself into the past with regret and questions of what if. And then, a bird lands on the branch and my dog walks up to me asking for love and I smell the candle burning next to me and all of the sudden I come back to the present and once again I’m paying attention.
I invite you to pay attention today and consider this question: How might paying attention to the small or grandiose moments around you help you feel more grounded in your life? Once you’ve tried it come back here and let us know in the comments!
Photos: All originals by Anne, taken while paying attention.
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!