What’s Next?
Do you ever find yourself pondering the question “What’s next?” in your life? I seem to find myself asking it a lot. And it’s not that I haven’t learned to find peace in the stillness of not having something on my plate… or is it? Why does anything have to be next? I certainly don’t have all the answers to this, I only know that I want to keep moving forward and honoring my own mantra of “Live, Love, Learn and Grow.” And in order to do that, I personally have this inner drive to try new things.
I’ve always been a task-oriented individual who is very organized. I spent my 35- year Civilian Air Force career in many different jobs; however, they all had one thing in common and that was a career in service – helping and teaching others. I am a year & three quarters into retirement and I am doing things I want and like to do which bring me joy, and yet, there seems to be something missing.
I know my personality confuses a lot of people.
I am very comfortable spending time alone and a lot of it; however, I’m learning that while I have no issue being alone, at times I truly miss and even need basic human interaction – who’d a thunk it? I miss the comraderie of friends and helping a cause greater than myself. I have a desire to be needed by others and to feel the joy that comes with lending a helping hand.
Earlier this year I applied through the local Retired & Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) for three local organizations. When things started opening back up a few months ago, I was called in and went through the interview process to see if there were other ways I could be of service, in addition to the three I had applied for. During the interview I was actually shocked by all the opportunities there were, and even more so by my vast life experiences in which I could pretty much volunteer for anything! It gave me a different perspective of my own self and not only the achievements I had in my career, but in my own personal life as well.
It was kind of funny that one of the agencies I initially applied to was a local county government agency. From the get-go, I was fully aware I was playing it safe and keeping myself to what I knew instead of really taking a chance with something that would challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. Long story short, this agency did contact me to help out; however, it was to perform many hours sitting at a computer in my own home with no human interaction.
The Universe tests us in all sorts of manner.
I feel this opportunity was two-fold. I could do what I’ve always done and continue to play it safe and not be fulfilled with the work I was doing or I could choose differently. One thing I knew for certain when I retired, no matter what I did, I had no desire to spend hours and hours on a computer! I’m happy to say, I chose to stay true to what I really wanted, human social interaction, and I politely declined this volunteer opportunity while reiterating I was looking for something people-oriented.
There have been a couple other opportunities present themselves, however, I was waist deep into canning and preserving the garden for winter. Now things are changing once again so the indoor opportunities have been put on the back burner for now.
I recently attended an outdoor private breathwork group where we answered a few questions on a worksheet. The first thing that immediately popped into my mind for self-care was rest, not my normal meditation, breathwork and yoga, but rest. I was kind of surprised by that answer.
It felt so wonderful being outside in nature. It was a beautiful, partly-sunny, 80-degree, September, Ohio day, with a brisk, but warm breeze blowing. It was amazing being outdoors and not working my to-do list. I felt so grounded and calm sitting and then laying on the grass to do the breathwork. As I began the breathing, I could feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into the arms of our loving Mother Earth. The next thing I knew, it was over. I realized I had fallen asleep during the breathwork. I really did need some rest!
So the next time I ask myself “what’s next?”, I’m going to remind myself of this beautiful moment where I completely let go and allowed myself to just be in the present moment and savor it!
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!