Purpose in Grief
Have you ever felt grief? What was the experience? Was it from the loss of a loved one or the feeling of deep sorrow? My first up close experience with grief was when I lost my father in 2016. I could not understand how God could allow me to experience such a loss. It took me four years to come out of that season of heartbreak. However, grief is funny. It took my father’s death to really pivot my journey through life.
In 2020, I kept having this overwhelming urge to cut my hair. After having a dream of my father, I knew he was telling me to release the grief. I wrote my father a letter, and the next day looked in the mirror and cut my hair. The act of cutting my hair was such a spiritual, outward expression of shedding the grief of the loss of my father, while building a deeper connection with myself. The revelation that came is that, while grief is always present, we are constantly shedding our grief.
We grieve loss, but gain acceptance, peace and purpose!
Before my father’s death I did not understand that grief is not just attached to death. I have learned that grief comes in so many experiences.
In my personal life I had to grieve that the life I thought I was going to have, is not what I am currently living. The truth is my lack of self-worth and self-love enabled me to make choices that did not align with my highest self. But I understand that every mistake, tear, and hardship has brought me here. While it may not be what I thought I would have, I am thankful for every part of this beautiful journey.
My prayer is that my truth will help you know that you are not alone in your grief.
My losses may not be your experience, there may be a relationship that ended, a dream job or or plan for your life that you had to accept was not going to come to fruition.
The truth is, every mistake and every loss blossoms into something beautiful if we allow ourselves to take accountability and accept the present while working towards our future selves.
Once we take the time to be intentional, and see the seasons that we have gone through, we not only survive, we thrive.
As autumn transitions to winter and the leaves go through the cycle of dying, the leaves are so beautiful. They have different shades and stand out even more than the green leaves in the spring.
There is beauty in your grief.
Some of the pain is deeper than others but I understand that it is necessary for the grief in order to get closer to our purpose.
Here are three ways I believe can help us heal in the seasons of grief — tools that we can use to help us understand our grief, pain and confusion.
1. Journal
It was not until I wrote down my feelings, that I was able to have a better understanding of who I am. Emotions have a way of flooding in so fast that we don't have time to process what we feel; especially during times of grief and sadness.
Journaling creates a space where we can unguardedly allow our heart to speak; we can be vulnerable with ourselves and release. This is where just as leaves, we can shed the heaviness and grow into something beautiful. The benefits of journaling is it can reduce stress and anxiety and boost our mood.
2. Affirmations
Strength comes from God and the belief we have in ourselves. In those moments of pain and grief it is hard to see the silver lining; but there is power in speaking over ourselves.
When we are sad, overwhelmed, stressed, and feeling broken; we can still make a choice to uplift ourselves and say:
I know I will be ok!
My pain is temporary.
This too shall pass!
I can overcome anything and giving up is not an option.
All I need to do is breathe.
I am worth the love that I give.
Give yourself grace and know that time brings healing.
3. Seek Joy
We give our heart permission to speak when we journal, we find power when speaking over ourselves (even when it's hard to believe the words we speak), lastly, finding the will to seek joy. Healing comes with action. Seek the moments to laugh, embrace what makes you happy. When was the last time you went to that dance class you loved, wrote your poetry or went into the kitchen dancing and made your favorite dish?
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
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Keiairra is a mother of two boys, currently returning to school for Human Services. She enjoys reading, yoga, and learning about all things natural — from food, to essential oils and plants. She finds healing through writing, and is accepting that she can support and encourage others while she is also growing and healing. / Connect on Instagram • Browse all articles from Keiairra →