Journey to Remembering
My mother told me she taught me to read when I was just two years old. I’ve spent a lifetime living through the books I read, traveling to many unknown, faraway places and periods of time hundreds of years before I was born into this human body. Books have always been a comfort to me throughout my life.
Around 1976 at the age of 13, in addition to reading, I started writing poetry and partnering with a friend to write a few short stories. Whether it was a reflection of what I was experiencing in my life at the time or absolute pure fantasy, putting emotions on paper somehow always made me feel better.
Then, sometime during my young adulthood I burned everything I had ever written. Life was happening and I couldn’t seem to put a single word to paper for years. It seemed like I would never be able to write again, that all my creativity had dried up and withered away. In its place was this robot, this unfeeling human who performed fantastically in the workplace, but rarely felt anything genuine other than frustration and anger.
My job became my identity and in that came just another piece of Lorri, lost.
During my spiritual journey one of my teachers keeps saying that we aren’t trying to find anything, that we’ve only forgotten and are in the process of remembering… remembering our passion, remembering our soul’s purpose, our light. And in sharing my story with you, I can tell you from experience, there is nothing truer!
In 2003 I put pen to paper, only this time it was fingers to a keyboard and I wrote a poem. In 2010 I wrote two poems, in 2011 I wrote one poem, and in 2013 I was writing all kinds of poetry and short stories.
I was remembering!
I have never shared any of my writing and now, here, in this space, I share with you all my heart…
No Name
February 20, 2003
•
My spirit, it longs to soar,
It longs to be…
Free of doubt, free of unhappiness
Free to be what it is meant to be
My spirit, it longs to soar,
Longs to be free
Of this jumbled mind
That holds me back, from being free
The Puzzle
April 28, 2010
•
My brain is like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle moving constantly, scattered hastily everywhere. Nothing makes sense, yet everything makes sense,
So much disarray, yet so much organization. Constantly moving from one piece,
one thought, to the next.
So much to tell, not knowing where to begin
My heart aches, my throat restricts,
I breathe in deeply exhaling slowly.
Trying to slow my thoughts, slow my breathing, constantly spinning and spinning,
just like the earth constantly rotating.
I like the way it feels slowly breathing in
and then exhaling, excruciatingly slow.
My arms begin to tingle. I breathe in and breathe out, calming, calming, slowly, slowly…
The Ocean
May 14, 2010
(In the middle of the night on the ship’s balcony somewhere in the Caribbean)
•
Soul rendering peace
The water calls me
It beckons me to become one with it.
The rush of the waves
The kiss of wind on my cheek
I feel myself sinking, sinking peacefully
Losing my body, my mind, my soul
The peace is so complete
Nowhere have I experienced such contentment
Floating on top and within
The taste of salt on my lips,
Caressing my skin,
Be one with me, it calls my name
The wind and the waves like an orchestra to my ears
The gentle rolling of the ship,
Calms me, brings me peace.
The kissing of the waves,
They are not angry, they whisper to me
Calling, beckoning,
Come, be one with me
Gently, gently descending
Calm, peace,
Oneness with the ocean
The Black Hole
June 2, 2011
•
Spiraling down, down,
further down
Deep, numb,
debilitating the feeling is
Not enough energy to move a muscle
Hearing the sound of my own breathing
In and out, in and out,
slowly, very slowly
Eyes, closing, trying to keep them open,
impossible
Darkness surrounds me,
deeper and deeper I fall
The pit of blackness surrounds me,
nowhere else to go
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!