The Key to Peace

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My car keys went missing last month. It is unknown whether I lost the keys or my husband lost the keys – we were together, we were at home having just pulled into the garage, and we were both somewhere else in our head. I was sitting in the passenger seat, responding to an email on my phone, only half listening to whatever he was saying which was about the battery in my garage door opener, and transitioned to feeding the birds. It was unusual, there was nothing to carry inside, there was activity and talking before entering the house, and at some point after turning off the ignition and removing them, the keys vanished.

The keys were only noticed to have gone missing the following day, when I was preparing to leave for an appointment.

The keys have been placed in the same location for over a decade.

Always on a hook by the garage door. Always. Well, okay, occasionally they get placed on the table where my purse goes or the counter where his wallet goes, but until this day they had always made it back to their appropriate place.

nathan-fertig/Unsplash

So I had to use the spare car key – the wonky one just on the verge of breaking open because I was too cheap to buy a new one when it went wonky. I had to alert the yoga studio owner that I would need another key to lock up that night. Oh, and could she let me in today? After a week of not locating the keys after looking every place possible and every place not possible, I put the money down for that replacement car key. Drawing on the lessons of life I told my husband that they would turn up now. It was inevitable, right?

So why a story about a lost set of keys?

Because this story is representative of the change in me. The keys weren’t there, I used a spare and made the necessary contacts to adjust my day as needed. I looked for the keys, he looked for the keys, we re-enacted the morning before – nothing. I said “let it go, keys are replaceable and they’ll turn up eventually.” Losing the keys ignited absolutely no emotion in me because I knew it didn’t matter. There was no need to point fingers, get upset or angry, panic or mourn the loss. And then I noticed and reflected on how I could feel this way – absolutely, totally cool about losing the car keys.

When I was in college in the ‘80s (ugh, so long ago!) I lost a set of keys. I was panicked. They were keys to my dorm room and the building that I cleaned for my work study job. I had set them on the counter in a bathroom I was cleaning and they disappeared. Other than my co-worker, no one else was on the floor that day – it was a guest dorm. But still, with no sound ever heard, they vanished. I was so upset, embarrassed, and scared.

My co-worker and I looked everywhere but they didn’t turn up. I had to tell my boss and she said she’d keep it on the downlow for a few days – they were master keys, after all, and she wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it. I was in Christian school at the time so, naturally, I prayed. Constantly. I worried, constantly.

My co-worker stayed by my side praying with me and asking me what I thought happened to them, constantly. And then one day they showed up. Right where I knew I had left them. Exactly one week later. It was a miracle! My boss was all kinds of relieved as I visibly saw the color return to her face. And my coworker was overjoyed and talked a lot about how praying really worked. And I was so relieved and thanked God for returning them.

But was this truly a miracle? Did prayer actually return those keys?

In truth… NO. The person – the co-worker – quietly put those keys back where she had taken them from. It was a long time before the truth was revealed and motives were never learned. But it was in fact the human condition that caused the keys to vanish and the human condition of guilt and regret that returned the keys. A week of emotional turmoil, stress, and worry caused by one person’s decision. A 30-year-ago event long forgotten, until it was time to remember.

The found car keys! Ironically, the “Let It Go” tag was added just a couple days before the keys were lost.

If I were the same person today that I was then, this lost set of car keys would have set me off. I’d be praying incessantly for their return. I’d be frantic looking for them. I’d be in tears over the loss of that special key chain bought on vacation in Oregon. I’d be embarrassed telling the studio owner that I lost the key to her business. I’d be blaming my husband and keep bringing it up that he lost the keys. And I for sure would have been upset about spending $150 on a new car key.

And no amount of praying would have stopped any of those emotions from taking control of me and my life.

Gratefully, because I have done the work of emotional healing through various yoga practices, I’m a different person. I may still be trusting enough to not see the truth right in front of me when it means thinking poorly of a friend, but I am different in that I can discern between what matters and what doesn’t matter when it comes to my emotional energy. And I no longer put trust in the concept of prayer. When a material object goes missing there is rarely a time when getting emotional about its loss is necessary. And certainly praying for the safe return of a possession seems extreme. 

When I noticed this transformation in my response, I felt peaceful.

And I’ve been feeling even more grateful for the space I have given myself to experience and learn from life. I set free emotional reaction to the loss of material objects, and invited peace into that open space. Setting negative emotions free over the loss of the keys may seem small, but it is confirmation that I am changing, it is validation that I have the ability to manage tough situations with less turmoil and emotion, and it is great practice for whatever surprises the Universe holds in 2020.

There is a lot of change coming in my life for 2020. I’m launching my own business, setting free those things taking up space in my life, and inviting in new opportunities to the now available space.

What are you setting free in 2020? What new opportunities do you want to invite into your life? Are there emotions that you notice impact your life when certain things happen? How do you feel when you lose a material object that was precious to you? Is there something you can do to change your response and unchain yourself from negative emotions taking over your life? There are so many tools at your disposal. I invite you to grant yourself the permission to try a new way and open your heart to greater peace for 2020.

Set something painful free and invite something beautiful in to take its place.

Oh, and those car keys? They were found 2 days after buying a new car key. Just as I said they would be. Lying on the ground, next to the driveway, in a location searched and traveled on foot nearly every day. Buried in snow for a few days, discovered in plain sight days after the melt, and I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed!

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“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

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