What Does ‘Power’ Mean?
What is power?
I’ll admit I didn’t grow up feeling powerful by the terms I grew to know it. I certainly was raised to feel loved, and that’s all I really needed in life as a child. Power didn’t seem to matter. It’s always something people argued about or really got overly emotional towards. That often came in the form of politics, money, or deep resentful feelings. At a very early age I developed a belief that “power” just wasn’t for me. It actually seemed disempowering.
That’s what I thought until I reached adulthood. Being an adult isn’t only about feeling loved by others. It is important, yes, but other people read into this as being selfish and immature, and so they don’t give you much consideration with what you have to say or speak upon. I think that’s fair and in some ways true.
Yes, we do need to feel loved as adults, but we also need our own power to know how to receive that love.
Power for me means perspective. Author and speaker, Wayne Dyer points that, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”
I remember my early 20s being arrogant and thinking I was levelheaded, but internally I was insecure and doubted myself. I lacked confidence and grew up in an atmosphere where I was told what I had to be good at. I never truly made a lot of my own choices. I just kind of observed what everyone else was doing and found a place to fit in.
In the late 2000s I moved to Des Moines, Iowa for a couple of years to live with my sister after some personal failures and tough times. She is one of the most brilliant souls on earth, and I am just plain ole’ lucky to have her in my life.
During that time, she always encouraged my ideas that I brought to her. She would always say “do it” or “yes, you would be good at it”, and I felt this and believed her. That’s what I needed.
Somehow it felt new to me. What I grew up around were men who heckled and cut each other down to harden one another. Sharing ideas and feelings wasn’t something that I’d ever learned. I actually saw that as weakness, and developed many guards towards displaying any type of openness.
My sister’s support shifted my perspective, how I viewed myself, in a huge way. I started to take chances. Not dangerous risks. Chances. It increased my self-esteem and I tried new things more often and actually felt alive once again in my life! It happened also by choice. I didn’t feel leveraged into what I thought I should do.
I felt supported in an entirely new way.
Of course, I am still growing in ways and see that there are some immaturities still, but I don’t see them as childish. I see these immaturities with a childlike wonderment. This gives me a sense that “Oh my, I am still growing and have a lot of life to give to this world.”
That gives me hope. Even in our culture today. Maybe even more now than ever because I know how much people have been cut down in so many ways, and we need to empower each other through encouragement, kindness, and compassion. Personally, I think that means allowing others to shift their hearts and minds in a way that changes their own perspective.
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(She/Her)
The gal behind Held In The Heart. The Community Journal is a space for those who feel deeply to express freely. We explore all sorts of things here, from the real & raw healing stories & creative writing, to the funny & fleeting moments of everyday human life. I warmly welcome you and invite you to explore with us!